MicrofinanceGirl

A candid description of my trip from NYC to rural India and finally to U. of Michigan, Ross School of Business. Go Blue!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

I'll take Arranged Marriage for $800, Alex

I'm beginning to think an arranged marriage is the way to go. Baby (my host sister) told me today that she'll be married within a year. She's not sure to who yet, but she's sure it'll happen within the next year. Basically her parents will do all the work. It's brilliant! They'll start looking around for prospects that meet her/their qualifications- he will most likely be from Rajasthan or the neighboring state Gujarat, he'll def. be in her caste (Brahman), and he'll have similar interests. I asked her what happens if she doesn't like the first guy her parents pick and she said, "Next!" It's so simple and practical yet so ingenious! The work is done for you....it's like when you send your laundry out in NYC to be done and you get it back all clean and neatly folded after having to do nothing!

Now I must add a disclaimer here- plenty of people do not end up in ideal situations...and since divorce is not common here and the women rarely own any assets, they do get kind of stuck in bad scenarios. But if you do your homework and get to know the person you parents have picked then you avoid all the hassle and bull&(*% dating games that I've witnessed since my college days at frat parties to the current NYC social scene. An arranged marriage culture would completely eradicate all the game playing because the mens' parents are also out for their match. It's tradition and so dating around, hooking up or even sleeping with a person that he will never plan on calling again is just not done. And for the women, they don't have to worry about when, how, and if they'll ever find their soulmate, and more importantly IF they find said man in time to have children. They are also spared the pyschological garbage, self-esteem defeating games that play out in many single women's heads in NYC. Am I good enough? Too Fat? Too Flat? Why doesn't he call...blah blah blah. Arranged marriages sound a lot less stressful overall. And the divorce rate in the US vs. that in India does say something. Indian women just might have the upperhand here when you truly think about it!

I think of one good friend I have back home who has a three date rule....basically in the last several years she has rarely gotten past three dates with the same guy. Why? Because by the second date she already knows there is no way it will work out. So I say, bypass all this dating garbage and go directly to the arranged marriage route where the weeding out process is done for you and you can focus on other things like your job or hanging out with friends who you know you already like to be around.
At the same time, I don't think I could ever let my mom find me a husband. Because if she's picking most likely his name will probably be Vinnie, he will run a pizzeria off the jersey turnpike and his idea of vacation is the boardwalk at Seaside Heights. No bad intentions meant here, just not my cup of tea!

Overall though, I am liking this arranged marriage idea more and more. I am confident that Baby's parents will find her the perfect match. She is a strong-willed, determined person and I'm sure she will get everything she wants- good career, good family, good life. Perhaps we Americans really don't have it all?

1 Comments:

At 11:17 AM, Blogger Justin said...

Hey Jenn,

It's your buddy Justin hard at work as always. Good luck finding a husband. Im still trying to find orange juice in a large enough container to last one week that is not too heavy. We will give you six months to find someone, then we will start looking for you.

 

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